The Men in Shorts of Martha's Vineyard

The sun has reappeared, and those men, the ones with the legs showing, the ones that walk around all winter long wearing shorts, finally look less conspicuous. For reasons I don’t understand, there are a number of men that live on this island that seem to have an aversion to long pants and winter coats. My husband Chris is one of these men. I wish I could say I have achieved acceptance and a live and let live attitude about this, but I cannot.

It drives me nuts when Chris wears shorts in the middle of winter. My stomach turns when he goes to work without a coat on. Half the time I’m wearing a coat inside the house and when I go outside, the Michelin Man looks underdressed compared to me. Honestly, when Chris and I go out together during the winter, it looks like we’re on a multi-latitudinal date. I’m walking down the street at 50º and he’s at 30º. You'd think that I'm up in Montreal and he's in Florida.

There’s a whole group of them. I’ll call them The Men in Shorts of Martha’s Vineyard. I often wonder if they are secretly in cahoots with one another or perhaps in a competition. They are not, to the best of my knowledge, doing this to raise awareness for a cause, although I sometimes wonder if the Chamber of Commerce might be using them to promote tourism in the off-season by trying to lure visitors here with the promise of a men in shorts sighting.

I know the men in shorts own pants. I’ve seen them wearing them once or twice and I look longingly at the pairs in Chris’ drawers, wishing they would move out of his drawers and onto his legs. See, here is a pair of his pants.

But today the sun is out and The Men in Shorts of Martha’s Vineyard suggest the promise of spring. Spring! Today I can't wait to see The Men in Shorts.